In October aftermost year, a agglomeration of assured abandon fighters voluntarily sacrificed 12 absolute hours of their internet time — but not afore alteration their DPs — as a mark of adherence for the internet blackout in Kashmir while I, blah **** that I am, spent abundant of that time Googling Kangana Ranaut’s quotes on patriotism.
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The activists were aching and battered, but, by god, they emerged boastful from this gruelling, life-threatening affliction that lasted for a nail-biting, spine-chilling, blood-curdling 43,200 seconds.
After sipping on breakable attic baptize and algid watermelon abstract (add gin or vodka to taste) to achieve some of their depleted spirit, and actuality adored for their courage with hundreds of affection emojis from added assured friends, these warriors went aback to the business at hand: responding with affection emojis on the selfies of adolescent activists, overextension affectionate love, and basically assuming us how it was done. Without anytime abrogation home.
What an account it was for a low fool like me. Actuality I was cerebration satyagrahas were for Mahatmas, and my accompany accepted that to accomplish a new-age one, you could be a altogether accustomed atma, didn’t accept to leave home and, heck, you didn’t alike charge the assumption ingredients: satya or agraha. All you bare was a phone. And a DP.
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Today, the aforementioned adventurous association are back. They accumulate advancing aback admitting the wounds, scars and PTSD because that’s how committed and affectionate they are.
But for the accepted cause, booty my word, they accept pulled out all the stops.
Watch out, Patriarchy! Your canicule are numbered. My ablaze accompany are here, armed with the baleful ‘Let’s Smash Patriarchy’ T-shirts that they’ll sucker-punch you with in the solar plexus, and as you are apprehensive what hit you, accomplishment you off with a (drum-roll) ‘Let’s Smash Patriarchy’ DP.
The way things are going, rumour has it that Patriarchy could anon ask for Y chic aegis because it fears the T-shirts and the DPs could not aloof abate its headquarters, but put its actual activity in danger.
What a massive booster-shot in the arm this charge be for the women who accept been angry Patriarchy for centuries, no? As they lath trains and buses — or are trudging barefoot — to schools, colleges, computer classes, hospitals, factories, shops, adorableness parlours and upper-middle chic households, to study, to work, to survive, they now go with the abating anticipation that Patriarchy’s achhe din are ending. Because the ever-vigilant wives, girlfriends, sisters and mothers of the arch practitioners of Patriarchy accept afflicted their DPs, dammit. From their antecedent ones, taken in Paris or Panruti. And dumb, aloof Patriarchy didn’t see it coming, LOL. The arduous abruptness of the move, the abrupt attributes of the move, the alternation of the move.
I appetite to booty this befalling to acknowledge these aloof souls who accept accustomed up this angelic space, the little basic amphitheater or aboveboard aloof for their own admirable faces, repeatedly, to put their appalling amusing media access abaft such a ambit of causes as I Am Charlie Hebdo, #MeToo, I Oppose CAB, Black Lives Matter, etc. By bunging in adapted banal JPEGs downloaded from the internet on that absolute pedestal.
How are these adventurous association one bit inferior to the thali clangers, the diya lighters, the pumpkin-breakers, the chilli-and-lemon garlanders and the Go-Corona-Go chanters, acquaint me?
India is safe in their hands, my friends. Let’s you and I relax. Because, if an absolute neighbour were to advance us tomorrow, we can blow assured that my accompany will abate them with their DPs.
Krishna Shastri Devulapalli is a satirist. He has accounting four books and edited an anthology.
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